The Dreaded Goodbye

Oyyyyy this week, this week.  It was a hectic one, being my first week back in the office.  More on THAT later... My brain just starts to tangle when I think about it.  Anyway, let's catch up on the past week, shall we?

Monday.  Lucy didn't flinch when I left for work, and here I am thinking how lucky we are to have escaped the separation anxiety I expected.  Work day was great, Lucy was happy (as per nanny updates) and all in all it was easy.  But then I came home.  When Lucy saw me, she was all like wait a minute... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.  And started kicking her little feet, crying, and reaching for me like she had been tricked.  Luckily it was nothing a little snuggling couldn't fix.

Tuesday.  She's on to us.  Our nanny Aly shows up, and Lucy goes to her and plays, no problem.  But as soon as I put on my coat - here come the tears.  I give her a hug and big girl pep talk for the day, and leave a teary baby.  Rough day for Aly and Lu.  Lots of tears and adjustment. 

Wednesday.  I went in to work at noon after spending the morning with Lucy (she had a doc appt but it ended up getting bumped).  Aly comes in and Lucy knows what's happening next.  She is clutching onto my jacket with more force than a 6-month old should have, burying her face in my shoulder, and crying in such a way that KILLS ME DEAD.  Not a regular cry, but this silent bigger-than-cry cry... her face is all red, her eyes are in pools of tears, and she can't even get a breath in.  It is RIPPING MY HEART APART.  At this point I'm nearly in tears.  Thankfully before I even got to my desk, I get a text from Aly with a picture of a happy baby and a note saying that she's already giggles and smiles. 

Thursday, I said goodbye from afar and skipped the hugs and handoff, which is where the drama starts, and she didn't shed a tear all day.  Success! 

On Friday Lucy had her doc appointment, so I had the morning off and worked from home in the afternoon.  It was nice not to have that stressful goodbye starting the day... and better yet, LONG WEEKEND!  Another thanks to you, MLK!

So it seems we are tied for good days and bad.  In my defense, I'm not really that big of a wuss.  Although I miss being near Lucy, it's nice to be in the office since a home office can get pretty monotonous.  I know we will all adjust, and I know there are lessons for Lucy here, and that being upset is a part of life and learning.  But it that doesn't change the fact that it's hard to see your baby completely not understand when you walk out the door, even if you know she'll be happy shortly after.

The moral of this story?  Eat up the deliciousness of weekends.  Oh Tuesday, stay away.

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