It's always nice to find rice on your shoulder.

Alright here goes, I admit it. My name is Nikki and I'm a slob. Hiiii Nikki. I didn't use to be this way, but I guess now you can put me in the same bucket as Pigpen or Clamato... Yesterday was a rough day and I worked from home. For some reason it’s easier to get through the day while lying on my back rather than moving around or sitting or walking or standing at all. So that’s what I did.

I set myself up nicely in bed... laptop, glass of water, wallet (for ordering in), and a bag of Tostitos to curb the hollowness between meals. I did not successfully order in though; the weather was so bad that my local East Boston delivery place didn’t even open! The recording said they open at 7 a.m. and I planned on ordering breakfast AND lunch... maybe I’ll tell you another time about the series of threatening messages I left that greeted them this morning (if the lazy asses ever came in).

Unfortunately, that meant I was on my own for food. We didn’t really have much (I pretty much consume the entire refrigerator daily), and surely did so that day. It was easier to eat the Tostitos and writhe and complain, but a couple of times I got a little gaggy and was driven to horrible verticalness in search of fuel. So most of my day was spent in a hollow fog, although I managed to get some work done if any of you work people are reading!

In case you were worried about yesterdays post, I did make it through the evening. Sure enough, I (I mean Thing) got my Chinese food fix, ice cream, movie and the whole bit and was transformed into a happy cuddly wife in the company of my lovely hubs. Me? A crazy wandering kitchen-zombie cursing out answering machines? I don't know what you're talking about...

When we finally turned in for the night though, I was busted. We pull back the sheets and CRUNCH.

"Nik..."
"What?"
“Did you eat in the bed?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? I think I’m on a pile of tortilla chips.”

Dang. I guess I did eat in the bed.

Today, I was a little livelier coming off the fried goodness of Chinese take out the night before and got myself to work OK. But by the time lunch came, I was in need of big protein packed high-carb meal. Vogel and I went out for burritos and joined Caroline in the café for lunch. Both Vogel and Caroline know about my crazy new eating habits, so I can let my guard down and eat as I would eat alone in front of them, which I did...

Eating is just so laborious and unfun when you do it as a chore, so I eat a little, put it down, slump over, sigh, chat a little, slump to the other side, eat a little more, sniffle, sigh, slump... more attentive to completing the task at hand than to the food I’m eating... Or the way I’m eating it. As we chat and digest, I look at Caroline to my left and notice that somehow a small pile of burrito rice has landed and remained on my shoulder. It reminded me of a few days earlier when I was eating goldfish crackers while typing my morning emails and when I finally stood up, a little orange goldfish dropped out of my sleeve and rolled across the floor.

So now apparently I’m not just crazy-eating food, but crazy-sleeping in it and crazy-wearing it, too. No sign if Nikki here, just some unfortunate mess who got stuck in a crumb storm, banging on the doors of the lunch places at 10 a.m. trying to get in.

Comments

amy said…
i had cheerios fall out of my sleeve in a meeting before. and i hadn't eaten cheerios that morning.

also, one night at bu, i rolled over in bed and onto a rotten orange in between my sheets.

there's no excuse for that.
k. mukai said…
Now you can never again make fun of me about the spicy boomerangs.
n-mukai said…
True, but it was so funny! I would like some spicy boomerangs right now.