Anyone know of a good pirate store?

I swear I left Boston with a belly button. Somewhere during my week in San Diego, it disappeared, or it’s... different...

My pre-pregnancy stomach and innie belly button is now a gigantic balloon that's one good sneeze away from an outtie blowout. I think Baby F has been turning a tiny crank all this time and my belly button is the jack in the box almost ready to POP. IT’S FREAKING ME OUT.

It creeps me when I see pregnant ladies with their balloon bellies and balloon tie belly buttons poking through their shirts. If it can go from innie to un-innie in a week, I’m not looking forward to next week when my outtie will be staring at you and entering a room a minute before I do.

OH SHIT I HAVE TO COUGH.
OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO BLOW!!!
STIFLING IT...
EYES WATERING
NONONO NOOOOOO NOT. NOW. JESUS.


Breathe. Breathe. No outtie for another day... But I'm afraid it’s not long now. In the meantime, I'll be shopping around for an eye patch for the day it pops out like the timer on a well done turkey (in the words of WTE). Let me know if you know a good place I can pick one up.

Comments

Amy Cowan said…
okay okay so i know i owe you a picture outfit of my own, but my excuse is i don't have a full length mirror. (i stand on my toilet to see what my bottom half looks like.)

but i'm still going to go ahead and request an updated bump photo. with an eye patch, if need be.

p.s. i love pokey-out buttons!

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